Lord, how did this happen to me? I trusted….

I met Greg when I was twelve years old. He was a year older and a grade higher. He asked me to be his girlfriend on September 7, 1982, the first day of my 8th grade year. He quickly became my best friend. I never cared to date anyone else and I didn’t. I knew I wanted him in my life for the rest of it.

On April 12, 1987, just days before my eighteenth birthday, Greg asked me to marry him. We wanted those around us to know we were committed to each other. We planned to finish college before getting married and that is what we did.

I became Mrs. May on December 22, 1990, three days after we graduated from college together. I worked very hard to graduate in 3 1/2 years with an Accounting degree. Greg received a Marketing/Management degree. I was now ready to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life.

After the honeymoon, we had to find jobs. Fresh out of college, that wasn’t easy. It was tax season and I found a job in an electronic tax filing office run by a local CPA. After a month, she moved me to her office and put me on salary. Greg found temporary work as a substitute teacher. A few months later, I found a job for him in the local paper that I felt he should apply for because it was more money than the substitute teacher pay and it was a permanent job. He was not thrilled at my suggestion that he apply for salesman at a car dealership. Of course, he ended up doing so and he started as a salesman in May of 1991.

Fast forward a few years and Greg advanced up the dealership ladder to sales manager. We built a house. I left public accounting and found a job as an assistant controller in private accounting at a convenience store chain. Then we were blessed with a son and after his month long hospital stay, I wanted to stay at home with him. Greg’s position made that possible.

We were enjoying life with our new baby when Greg was offered an opportunity to partner with his current boss and have his own dealership in another town. It would be a dream for him but it was not what I wanted. We ended up moving and Greg began to bring a failing dealership back to life.

I continued staying home with Sam. We eventually sold our house in our hometown and built a house in our new town. When Sam was three, we were blessed with the addition of a baby girl, Savannah, and then four and a half years later, we were blessed with another, Sydney. We found a piece of property and built our dream house. I got involved raising our children. I spent my time while the kids were in school in Bible studies, photography, and scrapbooking.

Greg began collecting dealerships in other towns. His former boss/current business partner began collecting other dealerships with other partners. He got involved on dealer council and also on other boards. He never asked my opinion about the dealerships he was buying nor about the boards he was getting on. He seemed to just do what he wanted. He began traveling a lot. We had no support because our parents still worked and could not come keep the kids. I stayed home while he traveled. And so Greg began leaving me behind. Sam was playing tennis and had tournaments out of town many times. The girls and I traveled with them many times but it seemed the girls were missing out on activities with their friends so I began staying home with them and let the guys go. We were drifting apart.

Greg was stretched so thin and was very stressed. He began stopping at our country club to have a drink before coming home. He didn’t want to discuss work when he came home. He spent a lot of his time in front of the television. The kids noticed how “grouchy” their dad always seemed. The distance was growing between us. And the lonelier I felt, the more I drew closer to my Savior. I could not get enough of Him. I spent a lot of time studying Scripture and I began testing everything I had ever been taught before (that will be another post for another time). The more I grew closer to my Savior, the more it seemed like Greg grew away from me. I couldn’t understand his attitude. He was a professed believer like me. Yet he was not living the life of a true believer….

And as I sit here now, I know somewhat of what was happening to Greg. He didn’t like the conflict between us. He didn’t like the responsibilities at home after working all day. He didn’t like hearing all that he wasn’t getting done…. He thought I didn’t love him…. Although he didn’t talk to me about it….. At this point, a married employee began to boost his huge inflated ego with her words…. Their talks started innocently (at least I believe on his end) yet they became inappropriate as they spoke against their spouses and about their unhappiness. I believe she had an agenda. At some point, she began crossing the line and started hugging him each morning she saw him. Then one day they kissed and began their affair. The affair lasted about 5 months. I approached him several times during the affair because I knew something was very wrong. The week I found out their relationship had crossed the line, I asked him if they were having an affair which he denied. Yet because of her actions with her social media, I could tell he was telling her about my concerns. At a ribbon cutting for a new dealership, I noticed her odd behavior towards me and I confronted Greg the next morning. I told him it was her or me. She could not continue working for him. Her position had to be eliminated. He was afraid of what she would do and would not commit to me until that evening. She had actually started trying to control him and he was not happy with her. During the time of their affair, I had actually told him if he didn’t work on our marriage, I was done. I was about to go spend some time with my mother but he had begged me to stay and work on our marriage. I told him he would have to start dating me again and he agreed to and did. We were growing close (or so I thought). When I figured it out, I could not believe that he had been having an affair with her. Of course, at this time he had not admitted to a full affair. He was only admitting to talking too much to her. I would not find out for a few months later the full extent of what I was dealing with.

The next morning after he committed to me, I was reading my Bible in our room. I was in Psalms and I had just turned back a page and had begun reading a psalm. Greg had been outside. He came into the room and held a small sheet of paper. He walked over to me and said, “I felt led to write this down and bring it to you. I wrote it in my best handwriting.” He laid the paper on my Bible. As I looked at it, I knew that God was in this. No matter what, He was in control and He was letting me know that He was including Greg. I did not speak. I turned my Bible towards him and pointed to the spot I was reading. You see, just moments before, I had turned BACKWARDS in my Bible and began reading the very psalm that Greg had written out on that sheet of paper- Psalm 130. We were now in this pit that Greg had pulled us into.

I’m not sure what God is going to do with this, but stay tuned….